I would like to help you manage your anger more effectively. Call 215-322-6781 for a no obligation phone consultation to see if my services are right for you or e-mail me today.
Over 30 years’ experience
Adults, adolescents, and children become involved with anger management counseling when significant people in their lives will no longer tolerate their abusive behavior expressed verbally or physically. Others are required to seek treatment by court order. This can provide an opportunity to learn more effective ways to deal with uncomfortable negative feelings, acquire better problem-solving skills and grow as a person.
Many people do not realize when they are feeling angry. It creeps up and they explode. Because we are intolerant of anger, it is often expressed in unhealthy ways: violence, cold shoulder, blaming, trying to make others feel inferior, affairs etc… The first step to control anger is to recognize it at a low level, paying attention to body signals: tension in the chest, legs, forehead, face, neck, stomach, sweating, increased heart rate. At this early stage, take (a one hour) Time-Out- walk away before getting close to losing control.
There are three choices to manage your anger:
1. Denial, blaming, self-doubt, low self-esteem thoughts. This can lead to feeling withdrawn, depressed, and later exploding.
2. Do what makes you angrier- insult, obsessing- both can lead to violence.
3. Communicate clearly and concisely how you feel and what you would like changed in a way that allows you and others to feel positively connected. The formula is two sentences: I feel angry that (e.g., you came home late tonight; I would like (e.g., you to call me if you are going to be late).
The Time-Out is an example of directing your anger to avoid suppressing feelings, escalation, and ultimately, violence.
Becoming aware of which of the above or combination you have done in the past allows more control over how you will express anger in the future. The act of recognizing and acknowledging to yourself that you are feeling angry will bring your anger level down one notch.
Example of healthy self-talk:
“I’m feeling angry right now and I need to take a Time-Out. I am in control of what I do. I need to do something physical like take a walk or run to cool down. We could then talk a lot more calmly about this problem. I can then begin to rebuild trust with my partner.”
I would like to help you manage your anger more effectively. Call 215-322-6781 or e-mail me today.